I woke up at 6am to make my breakfast pie for the office! It was my turn to bring breakfast for the oh 40 people on my team. Sorry...folks...these two pies are delish... BUT they only serve 20 people. I sure hope whoever signed up to bring doughnuts pulled though for the rest of you! (sidenote: she forgot!) So I'm scrambling around the kitchen mixing the eggs and milk while waiting on the stupid sausage to brown. The sausage was in no hurry to cooperate this morning...awesome!
So after I FINALLY get the two pies in the oven...I sprint to the shower...shave my legs in lightening speed (might explain the few spots of blood on my legs I discovered after the shower) and tried my best to suds up and rinse off equally as fast. Now that I think about it...why did I even shave my legs...I wore jeans today?!?!? Make up half applied...hair half dry...then the oven timer goes off....check the pies..."oh good...pies still need to cook another 10 minutes". T-shirt and jeans will have to do today...hair up in messy bun. Great, I look like HELL!!! Ready for a productive day of blogging....
I throw the two pies in my nifty Pyrex insulated tote and headed for my car...check my feet....good I have on both of MY shoes....which leads me to a side story....
I posted a Facebook status about this little incident but never blogged about it so here you, (for all 3 blog readers)....
A few weekends ago (on the hottest weekend of the summer to be exact), Cory and I camped out with his uncle at Carters Lake. We'd decided to drive up to the Lake immediately after I left work that Friday. So that Friday morning I'm running around packing the few remaining items that hadn't made it in my duffle bag yet. (I've learned the hard way that when the husband is ready to go...he's ready to GO...NOW!!!)
So...I notice it's getting extremely to close to my departure time (if I plan on being at work by 8am)... so I better go! I'm basically dressed...still no shoes on...and I remember my flip flops (Teva) are in the laundry room beside of pair of cory's flip flops (also Teva). You might already get where this is going....
So I've thrown my big duffle bag over my shoulder...grabbed my purse and coffee mug and off to my car I went...stopping briefly to slide on my flip flops as I exited through the laundry room into the garage. I get to work...walk around to catch up with a few co-workers at their desk then mosey back to my desk....so around 9am (I've been at work for roughly an hour)...I get up to step outside and call my mom....and as I'm approaching the door I happen to look down....and much to my dismay...this is what I see!!!
That's right folks...One of those are mine...and the other is Cory's!!!
How did I not notice I was wearing one of his flip flops!?!?! I have NO clue!
Though I did notice one felt a little weird on my foot. I never looked down to inspect.
How did I not notice that one shoe was two inches longer than the other? Beats me! How did no one else notice that one shoe was different?!?! Who knows?!?!
So I return to my desk laughing hysterically...there are tears running down my face...I show my co-worker...she cracks up, of course!
Next I go outside to call Cory (hoping no one watches me walk to the door and sees what's on my feet)...I can hardly talk because I'm LAUGHING.SO.HARD. When I finally get the words out "I'm wearing one of your flip flops!!!" He's in disbelief! He cracks up and basically tells me that he's "worried about me"! Great...my husband thinks he's married a moron...and maybe...just maybe...TODAY...he's right!
Then I call my mom to tell her...
Me: BAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA....(uncontrollable laughter for at least a minute)
Mom: Brooke?...what in the world?
Me: I called to give you a good laugh this morning...
Mom: ok, let's hear it!
Me: So I'm walking outside to call you and looked down and noticed that I'm wearing one of my teva flip flops...AND ONE OF CORY'S!!!!!
Mom: BAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA....uncontrollable laughter for about two minutes
Me: What is wrong with me!?!?
Mom: Oh my God...you are my child!!!! I've worn two different shoes to work before...but I've NEVER worn one of your dad's shoes!!!!! How did you not notice???
Me: I've apparently lost my mind! I gotta go back into work....I'll call u later
Mom: (still laughing)
Me: Bye Mom!
If I couldn't laugh at myself we'd be in BIG trouble!
"Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can" ~ Elsa Maxwell
Flash foward back to this morning....so I'm scrambling to get out the door...and Cory calls me (after his bootcamp)...no time to answer this call my arms are overflowing with food, coffee, purse, jacket (yes a jack in summer because you could hang meat in my office). Then he calls again as I'm getting everything in the car....'seriously!?!?'...he never calls this early. Somehow I managed to catch the call...
(condensed version of the convo)
Me: Hello (slightly irritated tone)
Cory: Hey..what'cha doing?
Me: Backing out of the garage
Cory: Oh...you are going to be late
Me: Yeah..I know...nothing i can do about it now!
Cory: Did you cook me a pie?
Me: Ha...are you kidding? I'm amazed I managed to cook these two
Cory: Oh. (sounding slightly disappointed). You have a good morning?
Me: I'm just frazzled this morning...CRAP!!!!....I forgot to grab a knife to cut the pies (by this point I'm probably growling I'm so irritated)
Cory: Uh oh....
Me:No time to turn around...and we ONLY have sporks at the office...no spoons...no forks...just sporks! And now that I'm running behind schedule I'm not going to be able to go on a wild goose chase for plates nor a knife!!! This sucks!!!!!
Unfortunately the convo didn't go uphill after that....
So I'm driving thinking "this is just great....I'm seriously mad at the world right this moment...I have nothing to serve these two pies with...sporks= t-total disaster....I'm running late...traffic was terrible yesterday...I look like death....and I'm pretty sure my rotten mood as caused Cory to be in a rotten mood too! We're going to have to pass around the pie and eat it with our flimsy spork! GEEZ!!!! "Wife, co-worker, employee of the year awards...here I come!!!"
So good riddance to a crappy morning..."after all tomorrow is another day!"
p.s....Try to avoid any feelings of sympathy for Cory not getting any breakfast pie...I made him a blueberry cobbler last night! Hey, maybe I'm not a bad wife after all!